Well.. I think my tears are done falling. Im not sure I have any left. Friday was my 13 year wedding anniversary and it went by with more sadness that smiles. Its been such a rough year I couldnt even fake a happy smile. Healing needs to be done. But has to be done from both directions. A day I should be happy was filled with nothing but sadness.
Papa bear wanted to take me out Saturday. But it was canceled due to lil bear needing to go to the ER and well he really isnt up to being at someone elses house. But its ok. Im glad that something was planned because at least I was more than a after thought this year. But it wont be rescheduled. I hate feeling like Im being pitied. Or because Im upset its time to make me feel special. Some talking was done today. But it may be years, if we can make it that long, before things get even back to 90% of what they were. I am not very hopeful. My hope started dying months ago. Bear with me while I dont update because no one should need to read the negativity my life has become full of. I just need to work on me. I cant make someone love me, or make them find me special. I can only find out if I can love myself again..