Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Lessons in life...

Its been a rough days or two.. maybe 3 for me. Kids are loving homeschool even though Bear wanted to fight any part that has to do with writing anything. (He had hoped all his stuff would be online and he would never have to write again I guess) Mr B is going along great. We are all still in the, lets figure out how this works,stage..I think next week it starts getting real. Orientations out of the way, The slow ease into the system. Although we have had both the public schools for the boys call and ask why they werent there....Obviously they never got the memo.

Im trying to learn to let go. My kids are becoming more independent. (Mostly) My joker bear has been blowing me off more and more. And thats bothering me. I dont want to lose him as a friend.. But it looks like its on the road to that. It hurts. I dont know how else to describe it. One min things are fine, and the next ..well maybe Im just a friend of convenience .Thats how it feels.
 Papa Bear and I are having to come together and at the same time learn to let go of hurts and eventually we will stop saying things we dont mean. Because I think we both are tired of feeling hurt. Do great for awhile and once a bump hits...Its get mad and blame game starts. Or one of us will take the blame in a matter that really didnt involve them. And right now he doesnt like that I feel hurt by joker.

Im also trying to get this house back in order. I feel like as soon as I start and think I have it going.. I find its not working and must start all over. One day Im going to find a working system. I can hope. The kids school stuff seems to be throughout the living room. (Possibly in the kitchen as well!) Its been a mess trying to figure out the best way to put it all. I need them to have their own space for their own stuff but right now its all shoved together. I keep thinking of coming up with money to buy laptops to put in their rooms and put all the school stuff on their own desks.. Then I realize I would be running room to room putting in the passwords for each lesson. And I realllly dont want to run like that.(Who would) Im sure it will eventually come together.. If I could find the energy. I find myself so worn down lately. Between kids activities and trying to keep the house up and my work. The kids school.. Im already pooped by noon. Maybe I need to go to bed earlier lol.

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