Friday, March 30, 2012
In the past couple week, there have been many changes in the bear house. We actually have communication back up and running again. Its been a really long now almost 8 months. But it looks like things are finally coming together. Papa Bear and I have many heart to hearts. Hes being strong during my weakness. Holding me tight when I want to run. And becoming the rock he used to be. Its still hard for me to trust this will continue, but life without him...I just dont think I could. The small bears in the house are learning as well. We have had some long conversations about being a family as well as a team. And while I am sure it will be a struggle there for awhile.. I am sure it will even out too. Papa bear has taken responsibility for the finances that went wrong. And has picked up a 2nd job to try to fix the debts. Its a huge step for him. And it is showing me he wants to work on the things that went wrong. 13 years of marriage is hard to throw away. But sometimes like he said a kick in the arse every now and then to remind whats important is sometimes necessary. So thats what we will be doing. We are working at so many things at the same time that you do get overwhelmed. Right now in our relationship its communication. Trying to find each other again. Finances.. its taking on more jobs and paying the stuff that got behind to catch it up. With the kids. Its reestablishing the line of authority, but also the team. Papa Bear has taken a active roll in being a dad more now than ever. Playing catch, basketball, even going to the school for functions while I work(which I dont think hes ever done alone) He is also being consistent..Which was a huge hurdle. And I think he finally realized how it was undermining me and disrespecting me when he went behind my back with the kids and let them do things I took away. And hes also come to realize...Nothing is easy. It takes work. And I think that now we can mend. And for that I am grateful.