Sunday, January 08, 2012
I think I made it
Depression... It kicks you when your already down. After another blog posted about depression..It made me look at myself. You see I have suffered with it since I was young..and I do mean young. I started taking medication for it when I was 12. Yes that seems young to most., but I had already been through so much by that age. Not that I have a problem talking about it, I just feel that isnt to be posted on a blog that maybe, at least 3 people read lol. Anyways.. I stopped taking meds before I hit 20 years old. I just wanted to be normal(yes I do realize there is no such thing) I wanted to feel. And well when you want to feel, you do feel it all. Over the years its a back and forth battle. I may go forever without feeling the slightest bit sad. But then again I also get irritated before sad. I think its my defense. I have noticed in the last 8 months. I have been sad a lot. There has been more days than not where I wanted to stay in bed and not move. The funny thing, after all these years I didnt even realize how depressed I really was(and am) All the things that have gone on, that under other circumstances I could handle. I just didnt handle this time around. Dealing with some heartbreak. Then the normal finances kicking you, then Papa bears hours, then the betrayal and add on a ton of things that would take me all year just to type. I think it was just too much. I am determined to get out of this funk. I havent been sleeping well for awhile and thats due to all the stress, depression, and my trust issues. Which isnt helping, but I HAVE to let things go, somehow. So Im going to work on myself :D The best I can lol.