Reflections.....

Looking back at this year, makes me feel like I have been on a non stop roller coaster. The ups werent many and the downs were plenty. But over all the changes, well, they were good. Mostly.

In this year, I have contemplated divorce. counseling, even a insane home for myself lol. I have thought about full time work, finding a job I can do from home, or sitting here. I threatened to throw my husband off a bridge if GOOD changes didnt happen..  And this is how my year went....

January-May.... Ready to pull my hair out. Husband was being a jerk due to stress and life. Bear haad to have surgery, Mr B flailing through school and not doing well. Money getting tighter and I swore by May I should have been bald.
June-July--Things start looking up. Papa Bear is finally not on my nerves..much. He FINALLY gets a new job(No throwing him of the bridge now) And we are now tossing around the idea, and decided on homeschooling again. The thought of going back to public school has the kids so stressed out they are having trouble sleeping. Major changes going on..
August-October-- Im still ready to run away lots of days, but the good ones are getting more and more. Papa Bear is settling into the new job better. Homeschooling is a little bumpy, but we are making it. September rolls around and Im served with foreclosure papers.. And thats when everything hits the fan. too many months of stress has taken its toll and I decide to go about life as a single mom even with the husband still in the house. I cry more than I should. Then finally I give in and see what we can do to fix these problems.. We begin to work together. I also decide to start writing a book.
November-December-- My birthday in November is nothing to write about. It was hell. My promised weekend of relaxation turns into argument central. I finally realize my family has taken me for granted too long. Im done. Instead of being a martyr I decide they must learn how to do things on their own. And they also have to learn that I need my space to breathe on occasion.. Writing hasnt been going so well for me because I have seemed to turn the males of the house into infants.. Yep time to put a halt to all of that. Papa Bear and I have some majorly long talks. And come to the conclusion that yes, they can do things without me and shouldnt always rely on me to do everything for them and I should not always be at beck and call. Things start to smooth out as Christmas comes near. And during the Christmas holidays, I find that I love my family again. Ok I always loved them. They just made me nuts. haha. But we spent a super relaxed couple days together and there was no arguing at all with anyone. Kids LOVED all their presents and so did the hubs and I. It was honestly one of only a couple we have done for each other. Papa Bear and I smile, and remember.. Its been one hell of a year... But we made it.. And we will be ok.